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How
To Better Manage Conflict
By Dennis Sommer (www.dennissommer.com)
Conflict is inevitable. No matter where you work, sooner
or later you're going to find yourself in a disagreement
with someone. We've all heard of disputes that erupt into
expensive and divisive lawsuits. A simple personality
conflict between two members of a team can cripple productivity
and in the end leave the entire team feeling angry and
betrayed. The following strategy describes a successful
approach to resolving conflict.
We're taught at an early age to defer to someone else,
to take our problems to the teacher, to mom and dad, to
the police. At the same time, trying to address potential
disputes before they arise with detailed policies of appropriate
behavior is ultimately unsatisfying as well. The suggestion
is that if we have enough rules, somehow things will be
fair and everyone will be treated fairly. Uniformity doesn't
necessarily produce fairness, and rules can't address
every real situation. For managers to assume they have
dealt with an issue in the workplace because they have
passed a rule or a policy is, at best, a naive assumption.
The question then, is not "How can we avoid conflict?"
but "How can we manage it?" If conflict can't
be eliminated, we can at least deal with it constructively.
Conflicts between work employees can spring from any number
of sources; miscommunication, unmet expectations, feelings
that one's contributions have not been acknowledged. Conflicts
and disputes seldom have a simple cause, but they arise
when people choose to make their differences into disagreements.
If conflict is the result of individual choices, managers
that want to successfully manage and resolve conflicts
must create an environment where employees can make the
right choices. the optimum strategy depends on building
the right group norms in the first place. If a employees
are open to differences effectively to reach good decisions,
then employees will be able to express differences appropriately
and effectively resolve them.
The following items must be addressed and managed to successfully
manage conflict.
Be Comfortable Dealing With Conflict
Being open to disagreement is sometimes difficult. Most
people are afraid of conflict. That's the reason for rules
in the first place. But rules designed to eliminate conflict
may allow situations to smolder and then erupt if employees
do not have the opportunity to express their concerns.
Much of the way you do that is not by trying to squelch
the conflict and getting everybody to calm down, but by
allowing everybody to voice their concerns. You can generally
move people to a place where they are saying, "Okay,
now what are we going to do about it?"
Acting quickly to air the issues is better psychologically
for all the employees as well. People do not like to be
embroiled in conflict or have disputes, so the quicker
it's over with, the better for everyone and the faster
you can move on.
Find
The Source of the Conflict
The tendency to look to some superior authority to resolve
disputes frequently leads to unsatisfactory conclusions.
Thus, the ability of employees to solve problems close
to the source, at the team level, will also contribute
to a healthy conflict resolution process. For example,
if a factory manager walks around a couple of times a
day to inspect whether people are bypassing the safety
goggles, you will get people trying to conceal what they
are doing. On the other hand, if a coworker who is working
down the line from you is the safety contact person, there
is no hiding what you are doing. And when that person
says, "Look, don't be a fool", it's much closer
to the source. It's a whole different kind of interaction.
In addition, bringing in outside authority may too quickly
turn the process into a fact finding investigation that
puts everyone involved on the defensive. The person who
made the allegation says, "Why are you looking at
me?" And the person who's accused of inappropriate
behavior says, "You're trying to get me fired."
For these reasons, attempting to resolve disputes at the
team level is more likely to lead to a constructive result.
Addressing the interests of the parties in conflict is
also more likely to lead to a satisfying resolution. Very
often people put things in positional terms, "I want
him fired". With active listening, managers and dispute
mediators can help move the disagreement away from demands
and toward a discussion of each party's legitimate interests.
Lessons Learned
When employees are able to learn from the disagreement
and apply lessons learned to new situations, they will
be able to resolve those new situations more efficiently.
This may be the toughest element to work with, especially
on an organizational level. Most organizations have what
can be thought of as serious learning disability. But
on the team level the opportunity for learning may be
less difficult. For example, you might have teams that
have had a problem with unfair job promotion, so some
people had more opportunity to qualify for higher pay
increases. In those cases, where the conflict has been
surfaced and then resolved and addressed by the team,
there's a much higher chance that the next time somebody
starts showing favoritism in those ways, the team will
be able to say, "No, we dealt with this last year.
Conflict Do's
Practice some self recognition. Only rarely does a conflict
arise without contributions from both parties. Very often
people tend to project it, and say, "They made me
do this". Employees should try to recognize when
they are angry about a situation, and what their role
in creating the situation really is.
B e careful about what is put in writing. Despite the
advice of many lawyers, memos, letters, and emails can
exacerbate and escalate the conflict.
Conflict
Don'ts
Involve more people in the process than you need to. Gossip
about a conflict can derail attempts to resolve it amicably.
Address the subject while you're angry. The resulting
discussion probably won't be very constructive, and may
have negative effects. Find an appropriate time to engage
with the other person.
Summary
While conflict is inevitable, it doesn't have to be destructive.
Management experts point out that you can't assume everyone
is happy just because no complaints are being aired. Conflicts
can seethe beneath the surface, working them out openly
can create new opportunities for your employees.
The wonderful thing about dispute and conflict resolution
is that when managed effectively, not only does it help
to address many conflicts that can pull you down, but
it liberates all sorts of energy. Conflicts constructively
addressed not only avoid something that would have been
otherwise festering and difficult, but they also usually
lead to insights and opportunities that might no be seen
otherwise.
About The Author
- Dennis Sommer
 Dennis
Sommer is the founder and CEO of Executive Business Advisers,
a management consulting firm helping senior executives
maximize both sales and profit growth. Dennis specializes
in strategic planning, sales, marketing and operations
performance improvement.
Dennis is a highly
sought after author, keynote and seminar speaker on
sales, leadership and business best practices.
Contact Dennis at www.executivebusinessadvisers.com
or www.dennissommer.com
.
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